“How priceless is your unfailing love, O God! People take refuge in the shadow of your wings.” – Psalm 36:7
I awoke earlier than usual on this spring morning. I can barely hear the birds because for the first time in about a week, I chose to close the window when relaxation toward slumber began. Lately, our noisy world has taken a bit of a toll on me. In fact, it appears that in the last year, I have become a lot more sensitive to noise. So much so, on my last visit to the doctor, to make sure my strong mind was still well, I asked my physician if she believed I had some form of disorder. She smiled and responded by saying, “Because you are such a quiet person, the behavior of COVID-19 and its characteristics, have probably made you more intuitive, more sensitive, to everything around you. Not to worry, you are doing just fine.” Besides a few bouts of lingering fatigue as of late, I am doing just fine.
My hair with patches of gray now below my shoulders, stronger fingernails, bones not so brittle, my face with just a few more tiny creases and the occasional pimple, which soaks up every drop of moisturizer I place on it, the little weight I’ve shed, the broken toe of last autumn still healing. Seeing, smelling, and tasting healthy meals I prepare. All of this reminds me that I am just fine.
The spectacles of God’s words help me to observe these things of me in my life while remaining enthusiastic about my future. Clean spectacles also remind me of friends and acquaintances I know. The people I have not shared space with, in a while, and coffee or teatime with those I still want to know better. Yet, my time alone has been fruitful as I learned more about God’s intentions for my life and understanding the correct exposition of his words. In this time too, I’ve finished writing what some may call a book with 55 pages of references. I prepare to defend this book in just about 14 days or so. In addition, I have planned my future years in the United States (to care for loved ones), Belize and other parts of Central and South America. Traveling globally for leisure and missionary work are in this blueprint too. Oh, and becoming a grandmother, I want this so much! All… if God wills.
Careful standards of evidence on the importance of following God’s words are the platform I stand on. Am I criticized or misread for this? Of course, I am! Am I loved unconditionally because of this? You betcha! But hey, that’s life, right? With permission to share, most recently my spiritual lens have allowed me to be there for those struggling with the chosen sexual identity or gender of their older children. This state of being, offers me so many opportunities to see the human side in all aspects, and the pain that sometimes show up when life moves or even when it stands still for some. For those who get lonely because of life choices, when asked, I am there to listen with no judgments. I listen only with compassion. For me, Christian ethical challenges must always be led with benevolence.
In prime clarification of God’s words, a higher level of spirituality encompasses me. You see, one of my greatest disappointments is when I witness his words taken and used out of context. Like I just shared with someone I know very well…if my expressions on such disappointment bring to me directed censure, I’ll take this every time. I know the importance of his truth firsthand because from a very young age, it was only through my complete understanding of many great Bible expositors that my heart was lifted. In this present life, this same heart has some setbacks; yet, I believe it is moving in the right direction. I wholeheartedly believe that people who don’t know God, could benefit the same when his words remain in right context.
Scripture encourages me to be consistent in all things.
To be consistent in love, to keep it real with the trusted people I enjoy being with- the ones who really care for me, the people who don’t have a need to compete with me (heavy sigh). You know, to keep it real with the people in my life who are also transparent with me. To speak up when confusion is apparent or to listen more and to not speak at all. To show empathy, to act, and to serve. Yet, real honesty within, causes some inconsistencies in daily Christian walk. In body and spirit, this is inevitable, until I am at home with the Lord (2 Corinthians 5:8). Why? Because life goes on. A life of faithfulness apprised by the gospel should expose such matters. But I know from personal experience this is not always possible. So, in Christian awareness, I pick up the broken pieces and always try again (2 Corinthians 5:9). I then testify to the life I still have even when I am made to fill in the cracks of what was broken (1 Corinthians 7:34,35). I grumble when things get too noisy, such as speaking to myself while closing up the greenhouses on yesterday’s windy and cool evening. I grumbled then because I heard the loud motor of a car going by. I did not answer myself though. I remembered what my doctor said, “You are just fine.” 🙂
I let the dogs in, took my garden shoes off at the door, and stepped onto the wooden floor. It was time to prepare for the evening. A salad and lentil soup to satisfy my hunger. Heated a wax melt from my daughter’s new natural collection, took a warm bath, closed my window, and got into bed. Soft blankets and God’s words graciously cloaked me in his love, while raindrops cuddled the window panes. I am thankful to God for all he benefits me. I will always praise him for it all!
My simple prayer for this day.
Heavenly Father, thank you for your constant forgiveness you give to me each day, because I ask for your forgiveness. Your unfailing love for me is priceless. (Psalm 36:7)